I Got You Babe

From birth I was cast upon you; 
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
—Psalm 22:10

Most babies are cute (the ugly ones are always somebody else’s).  They are small and roundish and easy to throw at God.  Infant baptism is a nice way to do that.  By sprinkling water on the kid we are pretty much saying, “Here God.  Catch!”  Babies also barf and poop, which we are also kind of throwing at God in the package. But he is a good catch and fast enough to duck.  This is the origin of the saying, “God ducks like the wind” which is still used in the liturgies of certain sects in Kentucky.

There are two interpretations of the above verse.  One reads it that the moment each of us is born we get tossed at God.  (To say we are “thrown up” sounds weird.)  God catches some of us.  We are the lucky ones.  Except for a few bruises we’re fine.  Every so often God misses one of us.  God drops the ball so to speak.  Theology calls this predestination, like he meant to drop us.  But that’s only true if you’re one of the caught ones.  It’s more likely that somebody has probably thrown him a screwball out of the strike zone and he let it go by.  I have personally met a few screwballs and I don’t blame him.

Anyway, the basic point here is that if you are thrown at God and are caught, you’re in.  Even if you’re dropped or let by, you can pick yourself up and throw yourself on God.  His batting record shows that if you throw yourself on him he will catch you for sure, which is an argument for adult baptism if you think about it.  Except for putting the tree of good and evil in the garden and making mosquitoes, God has a pretty solid batting average.

The other interpretation is that from our birth we are like a cast on God’s leg or arm.  Some scholars dispute this reading and cite John 19:36 Not one of his bones will be broken. Others find support for such a reading in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you. The majority of scholars, especially the ones who wear spectacles, go with the throwing thing, mostly because they’d rather not suggest that we’re more of a pain in the leg than we already are.


One Response

  1. Aside for being food for other things and being compressed into fossil fuels, I can’t find an actual use for mosquitoes.

    If someone could enlighten me and let me know where mosquitoes fit into God’s almighty plan, I would be greatly appreciative.

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