The Curse of Inside Information

secrets

Surely the Sovereign LORD does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets. (Amos 3:7)

Apparently God has a plan.  If only I could figure out what it is.  On second thought, maybe it’s better to remain clueless.  If the Biblical record is any indication, when God gives you the inside scoop things can get really sticky.

When I was a little kid, my dad took me to a play.  It was one of those lame melodramas.  It had an innocent heroine, a brave but dufusy hero, and a curly mustachioed, black-draped villain.  It was a low-budget affair, but we were each given a bag of peanuts, not to eat, but to throw at the villain whenever he came on the stage.

At one point during the performance, the villain came off the stage and made a beeline for me.  I was terrified by the approach of this leering personification of schmaltzy badness.  I was only a little kid, after all.  But instead of grabbing me and tying me to the railroad tracks (where the heroine was destined to go), he leaned over with a sneer and whispered something in my ear.  I don’t remember what he said, but I do remember the shock of being picked as the villain’s confidant.  Just moments before I was a little kid with a bag of peanuts; now I was a collaborator in a diabolical plan to undo the ditsy Nell.  Everybody seemed to enjoy my privileged status except me.

I feel sorry for the prophets.  There they are, minding their own business, when out of the blue comes the VOICE OF GOD.  “Let me tell you what I’m going to do,” God says.  And when he wants to tell you what he’s going to do, you don’t exactly have a lot of options. Now a lot of folks think that having God tell you a secret or two would be a cool thing.  Yeah, right.  The problem is that when God lets you in on a little inside information you become a collaborator. Worse, when God whispers in your ear you become responsible for that morsel of meaning, that tidbit of truth. Even worse, he has let you in on his little secret because he expects you to do something about it.  (Many of the Biblical prophets opted for bitching, but that’s probably not what God had in mind.)

That is why, here at Our Daily Fred, we make no claims about inside information. In fact, we make studious and sustained efforts to avoid hearing the voice of God in order not to burden you with unnecessary religious tensions.  Instead, we offer shallow observations and nonbinding principles to make your faith easier to live with as you pursue the more important matters of self-esteem and self-actualization.  One more reason to make Our Daily Fred your main source of religious insight. We ignore God for you.

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