Alien and Stranger


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8)

So just what does God think about? I mean, when he’s not planning Armageddon or checking the temperature of the lake of fire. He’s got the mechanics of the universe oiled pretty well so it probably runs on autopilot most of the time—with minor adjustments from time to time for miracles, disasters, and general system maintenance. And since he knows everything past, present, and future, it’s not like there are things he still has to figure out or be surprised about. And since he supposedly doesn’t make mistakes he doesn’t have to go back and fix stuff he screwed up (well, except for that reprayer incident I talked about before). What’s he going to do with his gray matter (or would that be white matter for that matter)? I suppose he could contemplate himself a lot. Since he’s God it’s unlikely that he’d run out of self material to think about. I know I can be pretty entertained by my own self now and then, so I wouldn’t put it past him to meditate on himself as a way to kill time until the Big Bong.

Even weirder is that God doesn’t do anything like I do. Whatever way I do something, I can be doggone sure that God wouldn’t do it that way or, most likely, not even do it in the first place, a no way way. So what I am supposed to make of that, for crying out loud? What good is praying “O God show me your ways” if as soon as I find one out and try it on for size it becomes my way and is no longer his which puts me back to square one. That seems counter-productive. Just how are you supposed to imitate somebody whose playbook is written in Rubik’s Cube?

Even without his confession, it’s obvious that God’s modus operandi is a little, shall we say, tilted? In fact, his whole approach to everything is totally bassackwards from a normal person’s. Jesus is a perfect example. He tells us to love our enemies, for one thing. How whacked can you get? What’s the point in having enemies if you can’t hate their freaking guts? And if you don’t hate them, their not your enemies in the first place. Bassackwards. And then he says that if a person wants to find his life he must lose it. Yeah, just try that with your car keys sometime. The list goes on and on. But maybe the biggest bassackwardian thing of all is that Jesus supposedly defeats death by dying. Hello? That seems a lot like trying to lose weight by eating donuts.

Let’s face it. When we’re talking God we’re talking Mr. Loopy. Our chosen deity is decidedly not your normal, run-of-the-mill supreme being as sold in local markets. Our guy’s running an OS all by himself. Don’t even think that he’s thinking like you think. He’s 720 degrees off plumb line and rewriting the code as he goes along. He’s as mad as a hatter on LSD with a doctorate in quantum physics. God is just plain out there.

Which makes me a little nervous considering the Bible says that we have the mind of Christ.


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