Get Over It, God

Altar Call,jpg“All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people, who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations.” (Isaiah 65:2)

Personally, I’m holding out for a better deal. I’ve already copped the salvation thing with its get out of hell free card, and I’ve got the promissory note for eternal life and  the deed for a custom-built mansion on Easy Street. And since I’ve opted for Gospel 2.0 with its obligation-free plan there seems little reason to add religious unessentials like repentance.

Besides, repentance is so freaking medieval. Except for the snake-handling preachers in the West Virginia hollows who marry their cousins, nobody blabs about repentance anymore. These days we come to terms with our dysfunctions not grieve over them. A hammering anguish over rebellion? A blistering agony over unbelief? A consuming sorrow over corruption of soul? Sinners in the hands of an anguished God? Hell, no. Gospel 2.0 is repentance free, baby. All that’s required is sincerity.

So what that nobody gets converted anymore. Change? Why would I want to change, for God’s sake? I pay my respects. What more could be asked of me? I’ve been set free and even Mr. Almighty himself can’t touch that. The Lord giveth and the Lord is stuck with it. If he’s got issues let him take it up with the God in the mirror.

So put your weary hands back in your pockets, Big Daddy. Nobody likes a whiny deity.


One Response

  1. Fred, you crack me up! You have this God-given ability to take an incredibly hard issue and make a point by very Monty Python-esck (sp?) humor. I really enjoy it.

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