Pop Quiz

Picture testanxiety

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. (2 Peter 1:2)


1. The triune nature of God is best described as

a) Tense due to overcrowding

b) Three men and a maybe

c) Eeny, Meeny, and Miney (there ain’t no Moe)

d) A fruit salad

2. When God created the world he said

a) “Whoa, how did that happen?”

b) “I wonder if I should start over.”

c) “Smells like cheese. It is Gouda.”

d) “I told you boys, you can’t create by committee.”

3. The fact that God is a spirit implies

a) He can usually find a parking space

b) It’s impossible for him to see himself in a mirror

c) He’s at least 40 proof

d) He ain’t got nobody

4. Which one of the following is NOT traditionally associated with God?

a) Decaf

b) Sushi

c) Costco

d) Sequins

5. Jesus was chosen as Savior of the World

a) After winning the swimsuit competition

b) Because George Clooney turned down the role

c) By a 2-1 vote in the Godhead

d) While he was off on vacation

6. The Holy Spirit

a) Was added to the Godhead so that water could exist, not only as a liquid and a solid, but also as a gas.

b) Has never been much good at theology

c) Began his career as the Pretty Good Spirit

d) Is often confused with nitrous oxide

7. Because God is infinite

a) He has a difficult time finding clothes to fit

b) It’s virtually impossible to hug him

c) His recommended dose of Advil is astronomical

d) He spends a lot of time in the shower

8. For some philosophers God is a necessary being because

a) There is no other way to explain celery

b) Without God there is no tenure

c) Chance alone is so iffy

d) Humans need to blame somebody

9. The famous “Problem of Evil” is best summarized as

a) How can a good God allow rap music?

b) Where’s a cab when you need one?

c) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

d) No problem; we’re pretty good at it.

10. The “Incarnation” doctrine asserts that

a) God drives a Chevy

b) Jesus is full of himself

c) Even God needed to have his diaper changed

d) Megalomania may, in certain cases, be justified


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