Oprah is the Antichrist!

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This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man’s number. His number is 666. (Revelation 13:6)

from USA Today 5/11/06:

Oprah Winfrey has emerged as a spiritual leader for the new millennium, a moral voice of authority for the nation. “She’s a really hip and materialistic Mother Teresa,” says Kathryn Lofton, a professor at Reed College in Portland, Ore., who has written two papers analyzing the religious aspects of Winfrey. “Oprah has emerged as a symbolic figurehead of spirituality.”

***

I should have seen it before. Her easy manner. Her anguished sincerity. Her winning smile. Her TV show and magazine. Her book club. Her philanthropic photo-ops. Her most admired woman status. Her incessant exposure. Her charming tantrums. Her billions.

I had been looking for . . . well, a man. How naive could I have been? She’s not only not a man, but I don’t think she’s white either. She’s not even fat most of the time. She’s perfect for the job and oh so obvious, now that I think about it.

Marcia Z. Nelson, author of “The Gospel According to Oprah,” says that watching “The Oprah Show” is something like attending a worship service. I wouldn’t know, but I believe it. Just standing in line at the grocery store checkout has convinced me that Oprah is the undisputed Pope of pop spirituality. I think we are definitely on the brink of a new world order here, and she’s the babe.

Look at the evidence. Oprah is Harpo (Marx) spelled backward. No secret there. But have you noticed that Antichrist spelled backward is Tsirhcitna? Coincidence? I think not.

And how about this: It is well known that the Antichrist’s number is 666. This adds up to 18. Oprah’s TV show went national on September 8, 1986. That’s over 20 years now. 18 and 20? Those numbers are a little too close for comfort, don’t you think? And I checked on Oprah’s website. Even though there are over a thousand episodes of her show available online, there is NO EPISODE 666! So just what happened to it? And what was this episode about anyway?

To make matters even more chilling, take another look at Da Vinci’s “Last Supper.” See the third disciple to the left of Christ (his right)? Does that disciple—identified by art historians as Judas—look like a white Jew to you? Whoa. Is that hair an afro or what? Look at the very unmanly low cut baby bluish chemise with the suggestion of a bust. Don’t be fooled by the apparent light beard. It may be a cleverly misleading shadow. What is Da Vinci trying to tell us?

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The clincher is in Oprah’s own words: “The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.” What more proof do you need? She’s a Darwinian goddess in the making and destined to take over the whole planet.

At least she’ll make us feel good about it.

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