Spiritual Food Facts

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. (1 John 4:1)

A while back I was in the grocery store looking for some fruit juice. So I picked up this bottle. The label shouted 100% PURE FRUIT. As an afterthought, I turned the bottle around to check the ingredients and found that the 100% pure fruit was chock-full of other stuff that was not even remotely fruit. Later, I discovered that there’s a big difference between a 100% fruit juice and a 100% fruit drink. Apparently, the FDA is as much into wordplay as it is ingredients.

I think religion should carry labels too. That way you could check out what you’re getting yourself into before you get into it. Maybe we need to post the difference between “100% Good News” and “100% Good Vibe.” Or maybe we could post the ingredients of a sermon: water, sweetener, relevance, showmanship, earnestness, speculation, traces of Bible. Or maybe a warning label should be required at the church door:

Or maybe this one:

And maybe church bulletins should include something like this:

And with so many of us reluctant to put on any religious weight, maybe this would foster church growth:

Then, again, perhaps the following would be more in tune with our modern sensibilities?


3 Responses

  1. Best post ever.

  2. I enjoyed this. You’re gonna get me started on my Gospel Light rant. Once I start it’s difficult to stop me!

  3. Oh yeah, I can see this concept expanding to the green movement… how about something like the green building standards with points; you know, bronze, then silver, then gold (Increasing points based on summation of various categories).

    For example, site design (pews – 0 points, couches 50 points), air quality (musty old building – 0 points, air conditioning with super filtration -50 points), water quality (folgers – 0 points, expresso with soy foam – 50 points), energy (cranky old people – 0 points, hyped out worship for young people -50 points with bonus for powerpoint projection), materials and resources (King James – 0 points, The Message on Kindle – 50 points), Education and building commissioning (offering without a purpose -0 points, full blown strategy, video presentation with 10 year plan -50 points, extra with alter call).

    The purpose for points is to add them up and compare to other churches, so you know that you are in the right place.

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