Our God is a Weird Weird God


So Gideon took the men down to the water. There the LORD told him, “Separate those who lap the water with their tongues like a dog from those who kneel down to drink.” (Judges 7:5)

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but sometimes putting your face in it can get you off the hook.  Drinking like a dog may not get you the Miss Manners award but it will get you a ticket to the front lines.  I guess lap dancers make better soldiers.

Gideon is looking for some competent fighters, but God isn’t interested in spear prowess or shield etiquette.  He wants to do something different, like whup the tar out of the enemy with only a few dog impersonators. That’s just like God.

Sometimes it’s hard to anticipate God.  Just when you think you’ve got him figured out, he does something weird.  In fact, weirdness is kind of a hobby with God.  It’s like he has a mind of his own or something.  At times you wonder if, being eternal, God might have a little too much time on his hands. He’s the maestro of misdirection, mystery, and just plain mischief.

A short review: God appears to Abram as three men at the same time.  Even those of us who buy into the Trinity thing find this just a little strange.  Who you gonna make eye contact with?  Then there’s the famous burning bush incident.  Why God would torch a bush to make a phone call is beyond me.  But these are nothing compared to the plagues of Egypt.  I can imagine the conversation in heaven now:

FATHER: I want to punish those Egyptians.  Any suggestions?

SON: How about frogs?

FATHER: Frogs?

SON: We haven’t done that before.

FATHER: Well, I don’t know.  Doesn’t have much zing, if you ask me.

SON: Let’s think outside the box, Dad.  After that we can do flies.

FATHER: Flies?

HOLY SPIRIT: Can we do gnats too?

FATHER: Geez, you guys.  I don’t know.  Doesn’t sound very godlike.

SON: Please?  Just this once?

FATHER: (sigh)  Oh, alright.  But if this doesn’t get Pharaoh’s attention, I’m doing the killing thing again.  It’s the only sure thing so far.

SON: Deal.

Later we get Jesus walking on water, spitting in people’s eyes, and casting demons into pigs.  I’m telling you, this God we’ve got is a little off-center.  Of course, this might very well explain dung beetles.


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