Payback Time


God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you. (2 Thessalonians 1:6)

The whole meek, turn the other cheek thing is good as far as it goes. Some people look good in milk-toast. Jesus did the suffering servant role better than just about anybody. Gandhi wore a diaper like nobody’s business. Martin Luther King Jr. made jail time look sexy. I myself am not opposed to letting some idiot merge in front of me on the highway once in a while.  I can talk nicely to the umpteenth Latino lawn service guy who’s stopped by to offer salvation to my obviously damned front yard. I can do that namby stuff once in a while, no problem.

But a person can take crap for only so long. There comes a point when the meek want to nuke the earth.  There comes a point when the cheek you want to turn ain’t the one on your face. There comes a point when even the dweebiest pantywaist among us curls his lip, clenches his jaw, and gets ready to beat the living daylights out of somebody—let the moral chips fall where they may. There comes a point when either the jerks get what they deserve or you’re going to blow a freaking gasket.

It’s nice to know that God feels the same way. One fine day he’s going to kick some nincompoopian butt and make your day. One fine day the Big Daddy of the Universe is going to line up all the dolts, boobs, clods, morons, nitwits, fools, and numbskulls who made your life miserable. Even the lowly Jesus is going to get into the act. He’s going to fire up his monster steed, roll up his lily white sleeves, spit on his hands, form a couple of earth-powdering fists, and mow those suckers down. And there you’ll be—front row in the grandstand, with your kosher Bratwurst and an ice-cold one, watching the fur fly. It’s going to be like a demolition derby at the state fair, except with body parts.

Some sensitive types may feel that it’s inappropriate to look forward to the divine smackdown of bozos. I say it’s going to be some of the best religious entertainment since Lost. Sure, I’ll put in my cheek-turn time if I have to, but while I’m submitting meekly to the slings and arrows of outrageous oafs, I’ll be imagining their black and blue keisters in a sling. I’ll bet that’s why good old Apostle Paul tells us about the coming crackdown in the first place, so we can tolerate the muffin-brains in the world.

So go ahead and turn the other cheek. Bless those who persecute you. Let the jerks do their worst. God is just; God is just waiting for payback time. Sweet.


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