Epigrammatic Theology

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So the word of the LORD to them will be, “Order on order, order on order, line on line, line on line, a little here, a little there,” that they may go and stumble backward, be broken, snared and taken captive. (Isaiah 28:13)

One nation under awed.

Jesus saves, but the interest rate leaves a lot to be desired.

Better latte than never.

The Gospel is more convincing if accompanied by an M-16.

Remember the Sabbath and keep it short.

The meek don’t want it.

Never ask the Holy Spirit for a light.

Given God’s aversion to sin, it’s probably best to limit visitation hours.

You’re happy. Big deal.

Pretending is necessary.

Sermons should be delivered to your door and you should get a refund if it’s over 30 minutes or cold.

Jesus has better things to do.

Worship is what you do to get God warmed up.

Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be mildly irritating.

Boredom is a form of sacrifice.

Three things I don’t understand: The love of God, the cross of Christ, and celery.

If it were funny, I’d be laughing.

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