One God One Vote

calvin

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will. (Ephesians 1:11)

Free will is highly overrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Freedom is our big thing. We love the freedom to choose. We want to call the shots on everything. We’re the land of the free and the home of Walmart. That’s what we’re about; that’s what people die for. FREEDOM. We’re the “give me liberty or give me death” folks. More than anything else in the whole world we demand the right to choose for ourselves. We want the freedom to pick our noses and our government and our religion. We are the freaking masters of our own destinies—and we’ll kill anybody who thinks otherwise.

This gets into our religion too. It’s the big battle of the ages. Is my salvation predestined by God or am I free to choose whether I get saved or not? Those who opt for predestination are called Calvinists, named, I think, for the famous cartoon character. I have no idea why, but there you go. Those who opt for free will are called “Arminians,” after some Italian fashion designer named Giorgio, I think. You can maybe see why his name is used since fashion is all about personal choice.

If you are an Arminian, you’re probably not only a stylish dresser, but you believe that you’re saved because you made a good choice. You believe that you didn’t have to pick God, but you were hip enough to the Gospel schtick to make the right call. Of course, God is happy that you picked him and awards you with salvation: “Smart call, kid,” he says. “You figured it out.”

But as far as salvation is concerned, I say screw free will. Do you really want your eternal destiny locked in place because of your choices? Geez Louise. Just take a look at your track record and see all the really really really dumb things you’ve chosen in your life so far. Sometimes you make choices against your better judgment, and sometimes even the “good” choices you make turn out crap. At the end of the game do you really want to stand before the Thermonuclear Throne and bet your future on your choices? Not me, buddy.

Personally, I’m banking that this whole thing is a cosmic setup from the get-go. My money’s down on a Deity who cheats, who’s fixed the series even before it started. I want the Big Daddy to pull the strings, twist the arms, lean on the witnesses, and pay off the officials. When I stand before the Blazing Doors of Eternal Forever, peeing my pants before the Burn Your Face Off Glory, the last thing I want is to rely on my judgment. If Paul is right, predestination is the only sure ticket for admission.

You got problems with that? Then choose away, mon ami. But I’m telling you, the election is rigged. The ballot box is stuffed. And you better thank your lucky stars.

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2 Responses

  1. For folks who have a hard time with the election thing, my thinking is this: we weren’t given any choice to be born in the first place, so to think that we’re a free agent once we’re born is illogical. We start out life with a stacked deck, and we’re even stuck with the sins of our fathers.

    However, there’s another problem with the whole Calvin-Armani debate: Both Calvin and Hobbs (Armani’s middle name, I think) were wrong in that they both believed that God was hung up about protecting his glory and controlling his wrath. It seems to me an omnipotent being is not that worried about proving it (especially the one mentioned in Philippians 2). Luther and others believed that God was motivated by love rather than wrath, so there’s a big segment of the church who looks at the Calvin-Arminius debate as meaningless.

    But yes, Luther also believed in predestination, because as you point out, Paul did. We also have some free choice, but we’re still stuck playing with that stacked deck we start out with. So I, too, am betting on the dealer.

  2. Pretty safe to say we have all the free will we can fathom eh? lol, but what is that in comparison with what He can fathom 🙂 Peace

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