Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
I’ve discovered that the tendency to freak out is inversely proportional to the time spent in prayer. Less prayer, more freak; more prayer, less freak.
But once again I get ahead of myself.
In the midst of crisis, a supernal calm can be maddening to those who equate it with denial or delinquency. When the sky is falling, only the blind and irresponsible sit down for a picnic. Given the information at hand, Chicken Little’s panic is entirely warranted. We are amused only because we know the real situation; the guileless chicken did not. If the hapless Henny Penny had been right, anything but a full-on scream-your-bloody-head-off Paul Revere warning ride would have been unforgivable. We’re talking fried chicken.
These are days of chronic crisis. If it’s not immigrants pouring over the border, it’s the latest asteroid hurtling toward the planet. There’s tumult in the Middle East, war in Ukraine, geopolitical destabilization, accelerating climate change, emerging infectious diseases, political polarization, economic inequality, hemorrhaging healthcare, disquieting advances in artificial intelligence, Beyoncé as a cowgirl. As Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another.” When it comes to delightful dilemmas and disasters to die from, we have an embarrassment of riches.
Of course, it’s always been this way. Wars are a staple of human history. Everlasting civilizations collapsed like clockwork. Volcanos erupted and earthquakes quaked. Populations were frequently decimated by famines, plagues, and the whims of unscrupulous tyrants. Slavery was a matter of course, and human sacrifice had long been the haute cuisine among the fashionable gods. Until 1500, human life-expectancy was only thirty years. And if all this wasn’t bad enough, the poor sods had to slog through without smartphones, Starbucks, or Spotify. Unimaginable.
It is not surprising, then, that freaking out has also been a favorite human pastime. People have wrung their hands about the end of the world for as long as there have been ends of the world to wring hands about. And one of these days it will be the End—or at least the end of Part One, if the users Immanuel is correct. I actually believe that the freakers among us are right; it is all going to hell in a hand basket—and perhaps even sooner than any of us might think. And so it might seem suspect that I am decidedly not in freak mode.
One of the best scenes in The Princess Bride movie is of a sword fight between the lovable rapscallion, Inigo Montoya, and Westley, who is disguised as the “Dread Pirate Roberts.” Their southpaw swordplay enthralls as it appears that they are equally skilled. At one point, Westley gains the advantage and presses Inigo to the edge of the cliff where he notices something on the face of his opponent. “Why are you smiling?” asks Westley, to which Inigo replies, “Because I know something you don’t know. I am not left-handed.” Inigo flips his sword to his right hand and the tables are turned—that is until Westley reveals that he isn’t left-handed either. Even when you know it’s coming, the joke never fails to delight.
The scriptures relate many examples of inside intel and holy chill in the face of imminent calamity. In one well-known case, a pagan king, enraged at the prophet Elisha, sent his armies to surround the little town where Elisha and his servant were staying. According to the record,
When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked. “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.
And then there’s the famous account of Jesus and his disciples caught in a furious storm while they were crossing a lake. Waves swept over the boat and the disciples were terrified of drowning. Jesus, however, was sound asleep. (I Am what I Ambien?) As Matthew records it, the disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. That demonstration, we are told, really freaked out the boys in the boat. Pick your poison.
Yes. Things are crazy out there, and it’s not going to get better as long as humans are in charge. But freak out? I suppose—if you have nothing better to do.
